'Oh hello 31 year old belly, I didn't realise you were coming over, OH and staying for a while, NIICCEEE!‘
I see so many adverts for weight loss products that I almost tried to think of an alternative to pizza for dinner the other day, IMAGINE! I have always had my curves, I had a booty before booties were a thing, so you would think I would be used to it, but I found myself thinking the other day 'What about when they aren't a thing anymore', I checked myself so hard.
Comparison, its the root of all insecurity. I do it all day, every day. I can see the good in everyone, show me Frankenstein and I will tell you how well he carries them bolts off, show me people skinnier than me, I should be skinny, show people bigger than me, she carries it better. I saw a quote once and it said 'The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our 'behind the scenes' with other peoples 'highlight reel' and that for sure is true, however its deeper for some people (me). I have not always compared myself to others but its inevitable that you will become more aware of what society considers beautiful as you grow older and social media becomes one of life's staples. I refer to myself as 'the funny one' out of my sisters because I see that as my strongest foot in terms of 'which sister are you'. My sisters in my opinion (and I know in many others opinions) are stunning, combined they are taller, skinnier, curlier hair, more athletic you name it, its better on them. They hype me up about the booty etc all the time, however its an internal thing. What I need to learn is that other peoples beauty or opinions of what is beautiful being different to what I am doesn't make me undesirable, it doesn't make me the ugly one!
I could do with loosing some weight yes, but I am trying to do in a less extreme way, any time I have tried a diet by day 3 I am crying in supermarkets because I don't like any of the 'healthy' options, literal tears. We use a meal delivery service in our house now and I am hoping as its all fresh veg, meat and mainly dry spices that its helping combined with working out (intentions to work out) however I am determined not to step on the scales, my target weight is 'feel good'.
Currently listening to... Unpretty by TLC
Please Do Not Feed The Unicorns
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